Eren has at least an idea of Jean's feelings, but like everything else, that gets lost in the mire of his memory. He shoves everyone out, ignores their feelings, lets everyone be collateral damage to the hell he will bring them. Soon, he thinks, but he's never quite sure when or what the catalyst will be.

He wants to find a way to tell Jean something real, something in his heart.

He wants to say something scathing instead.

He wants Jean to rip him to pieces.

He wants to hold on to Jean and never let go.

He settles for this: Jean's fingers inside him and his own demands (currently ignored). He can't stay still, trying to get more and trying to get away from that relentless attention on his prostate all at once. Even if it borders on too much, it's never enough. This is how he's always been.

He starts just a little when Jean slaps his leg, out of surprise and not pain. He watches Jean slick his cock, finally. There's no resistance when Jean lifts his legs. He does frown a little at Jean making it dirtier than it needs to be, but it's not like he cares. Eren's face is still a mess of tacky blood and dried spit, so whatever.

He reaches for Jean, but he's not at a good angle for it.

"God, just fuck me for real already."