Jean "it's good soup" Kirstein (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
neighsaying) wrote2023-12-08 12:11 am
neighsaying) wrote2023-12-08 12:11 am
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labyrinthum
INBOX (UN: OMNIDIRECTIONAL)
text / audio / video / action
This is Jean. Leave a message, and I'll reach back out when I'm available. [ Previously was thunderspear ]
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I can come handle the cooking for a while, if you want. I have nothing else to do and I feel rather useless.
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I'd appreciate that. I'm sure Frog would love to see someone other than me as well.
But, in return, you'll have to let me come by to see you, too. A burden shared is made lighter, isn't it? Or something like that.
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[ He probably won't leave, either. ]
I have to ask... Did he leave anything behind, or are all his things gone?
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[ He means it with all of his heart. And if Maruki is still at the house in the mornings, Jean will gladly make him a breakfast in appreciation. ]
They're still here. The only things that aren't seem to be what he was wearing before we returned.
[ His bracelet, Mikasa's ring, the gear he was wearing. ]
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When Vash disappeared, all that was left was his crystal pendant. I was surprised the castle didn't vanish along with him and all the rest of his things.
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[ Jean has it, actually. It's tucked under all his clothes along with his own, diamond, pendant; he doesn't reveal his very often for that reason. ]
His isn't here, or Subaru's, which I know he had as well. I wouldn't have put it past someone to take them but it makes me wonder if...
[ There's a few minutes before Jean sends a text again. ]
If maybe he chose to leave. Maybe going back in time allowed him a chance to slip back home.
[ Maybe he took the pendants as a way to remember them all. He knows the founder's abilities are powerful like that. Technically, Eren has had those abilities all along. If he connected to his future self in any way, he could have influenced his younger self.
Jean doesn't know that Eren and Maruki promised to free this reality and forge a new path. He doesn't know that Eren wouldn't choose to leave without at least informing Maruki. ]
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Can I tell you something? It might be a bit confusing. Manipulations of time and memory often make for convoluted stories.
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I don't know much about his abilities. I know that he can talk to Eldians and that he said there was 'no other path' he could have taken at home. That he erased the memories of our goodbyes until he died.
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It's true that Eren has a more nuanced understanding of the malleable nature of memory and reality than almost anyone else here. Things that I only know in theory, he lives every day. I've learned a lot from him because of that.
Before we were split off into war, while we were spontaneously becoming younger or altered versions of ourselves... Akechi and I had a strange shared incident. We gained the memories of leaving Somnius, albeit under different circumstances - but both of us remembered our time here even while we were back in our true reality. I was able to alter my own future, despite also having "no other path" I could have taken. And then we "returned."
I told Eren about it, of course - while those memories were still fresh in my mind, and I thought that they were real, I was surprised to see that he was still around. From his perspective, though, I never left. He was quick to tell me that it wasn't real. That when you leave, you forget, and you can't change your future. That it was simply a manipulation of my own mind.
Maybe he was right. Maybe not. It doesn't really matter, and we'll never know, in the end. I only know what felt real for me - and I can still remember everything that version of myself experienced. Whatever it is, it's not nothing.
Anyway... My point is, as he and I spoke about it, we made a deal that when we manage to find a way to leave this reality, we will only do so at the same time. We both promised not to leave the other first if we had any control over the situation at all.
That's a big "if," of course. Maybe we'll never have a choice.
But I know that Eren wouldn't have broken that promise. And I know, when it comes to you, Thorfinn, Aubrey, a few others... He wouldn't have left without saying goodbye. He has a history of ensuring that, after all.
Ah, that was a lot. I'm sorry. Don't feel like you need to respond...
jean knows a bit but i like to keep that 'eren is sliding through time' as grey for him & pan
Regardless, he takes in what Maruki says; about Eren making the promise to leave together no matter what. Eren does try to keep his promises no matter what - he gave Mikasa a future of peace even if it wasn't real. He doesn't know what happens in his own future.
He texts back after ten minutes. ]
I appreciate knowing that. Eren will keep his promises if he can, no matter what, for better or worse.
I won't think of him as having left on purpose, then. And I hope that he comes back, as painful as that might be for him.
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I'll see you around the farm.
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And... I would be upset, too.
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[ Some reassurances typed – don't worry about me, I'm made of tough stuff, at this point I fear I'm indestructible – and deleted. It's good that people care, even though he'll continue to give every bit of himself away. ]