Jean "it's good soup" Kirstein (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
neighsaying) wrote2023-12-08 12:11 am
neighsaying) wrote2023-12-08 12:11 am
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labyrinthum
INBOX (UN: OMNIDIRECTIONAL)
text / audio / video / action
This is Jean. Leave a message, and I'll reach back out when I'm available. [ Previously was thunderspear ]
code credit
no subject
He doesn't for a second want Eren to think he's pulling away though, either.
So he stays in place. He finds Eren's other hand with his own free one and twines their fingers together there, too. ]
Maruki once told me you can't quantify hurt in terms of who's is worse.
[ His tone is soft, raw. ]
We asked you for the impossible, and ignored when you told us you couldn't do it. That wasn't fair to you.
If it's selfish, then let's be selfish.
I'm sorry, Eren.
[ He didn't mean to, but he makes no excuses. Instead, he kisses Eren's knuckles. ]
I know who you are, now. I love you.
no subject
[For a moment, Eren can't tell if Jean is talking about their time in Somnius or their time back home. That moment last and lasts. His hands squeeze Jean's, then release - squeeze, release.
['I know who you are now.' Does he?
['I love you.' He does.
[It's an apology Eren never expected to receive. It's an apology he never would have asked for. It's a hurt that he's carried for what feels like years, what made him feel more alone than anything. He remembers feeling like he hated Jean and Mikasa at times.
[That was never true.
[He's quiet for too long. There's a lump in his throat. Jean has spent hours holding Eren as he cries. He doesn't want to cry now...
[But it's hard to speak. His lips stick together.]
I love you. Sometimes I love you so much it feels like I'm dying.
[His head spins. It feels impossible to forgive, because it feels impossible that he can be forgiven.]
We know each other now. I don't want to be apart anymore.
no subject
Jean waits out Eren's silence, feeling those hands squeeze and release. It feels agonizing, like being suspended in midair with no hooks - a terrifying freefall that you'll either stop or die in.
Eren would have every right to get angry, to rage.
But he doesn't.
Jean hears the wet noise of his lips when he tries to speak, long before he manages. He doesn't let Eren's hands go, but he does finally shift so that he can half turn and look at Eren. ]
I'm not going to leave. We'll be together as long as we can.
[ He doesn't promise forever, because he knows one day one of them will leave. Either by chance, or choice.
He thinks of Dolph, who asked him to remember how the love felt. He once promised Eren his bones would remember him. So: ]
And, even if we don't have our names anymore, we'll remember how we felt for each other.
no subject
[But it's hard to look at Jean. It's been hard to look at Jean. He doesn't want it to be hard. He's fifteen again. He just wants Jean to be his friend.
[He's more. He's one of Eren's people.]
My bones will remember...
[He whispers it, a hand coming up to touch Jean's chin.]
You're right. I'll never forget.
watch us wrap soon "let them cuddle" NO! DEVOTION CONFESSIONS!
He leans into the touch on his chin, letting his eyes fall closed. ]
Thank you. For telling me the truth. For trusting me with it.
hehehehe
I love you. I want to keep doing this. [Time together - simple as that.] For as long as we can...
Re: hehehehe
[ Jean exhales softly. ]
I'm happy just being with you. The where or the how isn't important. That's all I ever wanted.
[ It's all Mikasa wanted, too. The world was too cruel to give her that. ]
we can wrap if you want UGH
[Eren takes Jean's face in his hands. He tilts it down, presses a warm kisses right to the center of his forehead.]
I'm here.