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[ He got the shovel talk, Jean, and he isn't even in this polycule. ]

I can tell that her intensity comes from a good place. She and Eren-kun are similar in that way, aren't they?

Thank you! That's good to know. I'll definitely take that into account. I could make strawberry milk pudding...

What about you, Jean-kun? What are your preferences? You're easy to get along with, but I'd still like to know!

[ Entirely unsurprising about his wife. ]

Back home, for a very long time, all they had were each other. They had one other person, but he's not here. The three of them are very protective of each other because they had to be.

It annoyed me, the first time I met them - but I hadn't gone through the same things they did. Now it's something I think fondly of.

[ A bit of Eren, Jean, Mikasa and Armin lore for Maruki. At the question about himself, there's a pause before another text comes through. ]

It's easy to say anything here, because there's so much more variety than back home. But if I had to pick one... vegetable soup is one of my favorite meals. And I like the pine-apple fruit, even if it's a pain to get into.

That does make sense.

Forgive my cheesiness, but after what you and Eren-kun have told me, I'm heartened to see that love grew even in such a brutal world.

[ Normally, pauses in responses don't really register to him. He's used to Akira, after all, pulled in all directions and apologizing unnecessarily for leaving him hanging.

That one does, though. Noted. Jean's mind is interesting to him. They all are. ]

Both are great choices! I can definitely make you a vegetable soup that'll knock your socks off.

And I can teach you how to quickly cut up a pineapple, if you want. There's a trick to resting them upside down that I learned from a cooking show back home.

[ Talking about home is dangerous. Not because he suspects any ill intent from Maruki - Jean might be wifed to and student of Ackermans, but he's not known Maruki long enough to get any sort of read on him. No, it's because sometimes he thinks almost fondly of home.

Home, a place that Eren flattened and destroyed most of humanity in. Home, a place that still includes his mother, includes Marco's gravesite. A place they're all stolen out of time from, and that he cannot judge them for choosing to ignore.

What if he does miss it, a little? What does that make him?

So he refocuses on the talk of soup and fruit, instead. ]

I'd appreciate any tips you can share, though I think I manage well enough now. I don't try to put it in coffee, either.

[ ?????? ]

I'll look forward to trying the soup.

You put pineapple in coffee???

ONLY ONCE

Edited 2024-06-01 06:24 (UTC)

I can imagine why you stopped after the first time!!!

Yuck...

... or possibly visionary. A trendy pop up cafe selling pineapple infused coffee would definitely show up in some places in my city back home. Maybe you have a gift for culinary innovation, Jean-kun.

I'll leave the coffee based culinary inventions to a -

[ What the fuck does he call Erwin. ]

- business partner of mine. That isn't Eren.

You're not far off, though. This delivery thing has been taking off, but I'm also supposed to help with pastries for a tea shop once our licenses clear.

Oh? Wait, hold on.

I'm something of a coffee enthusiast myself. Do you know someone who's started a business like that? Ah, besides the cafe here... It's a little lacking...

It's not long after things calm down - in fact, it might even be before then. But at least a day passes before Levi works up the courage to seek Jean out after being freed from the Green Knight's thrall.

After nearly putting his foot through his chest.

It'd been the first clear thought that had come slamming into his mind once the call had ended. Bloodied, filthy, viscera and who the fuck knew what else under his nails, in his hair. But as soon as the fog had cleared, the memory of throwing Jean to the ground and feeling his ribs crunch beneath his boot.

Fuck.

Hange weeks gone, Mikasa only recently in their wake, Eren already once apparently killed once and banished to some kind of literal hell before coming back (what the entire fuck), and some part of him had been ready to cave Jean's chest in mere hours after saving his life.

He hadn't been in his right mind, but that's no fucking excuse.

The absolute bare fucking minimum he owes Jean is an apology, even though the damage is already long done.

Levi doesn't expect forgiveness. It isn't even that he failed to protect him, somehow. There were no decisions that needed to be made with imperfect information.

It was betrayal, of someone he should've kept safe.

So even if Jean doesn't forgive him, or can't - at the very least, there can be some kind of closure.

He takes a breath, a small parcel in one hand, and knocks.

Thanks to Dolph, the damage to his chest is already a memory - though the events leading up to it will probably stay in his nightmares for a long time. His leg as well is doing much better, almost healed, and he isn't favoring it anymore.

Somnius is starting to get back to normal, so Jean and Eren resume their delivery service - although things have changed between them. People still need to be fed, though, and Jean finds a certain peace in having something to do, rather than sit around and feel useless.

The knock is somewhat unexpected, and when he opens the door the last thing he expects to see is Levi. There's the briefest moment where his shoulders tense, for a moment, before he relaxes. He knows the two of them are fine - he found the horses fed, after all.

"Captain," he says, sounding relieved. There's a brief pause where Levi may be able to get a word in, but a moment later he steps forward, wrapping his arms around Levi tightly.

"Sorry," he says as he does it, "I know you're not much of a hug person. But I'm glad to see you're okay."

That really is his concern - that Levi is okay, at least physically. Not hurt, not dead, and neither is Erwin or he's sure he wouldn't be here. As far as he's concerned, though the sight of Levi over him will haunt him, that's water under the bridge.

Edited 2024-06-25 02:12 (UTC)

There's a moment where they just stare at each other. Heartbeats.

When did he get so damned tall? At least the angle is familiar, but just like in moments that occasionally happened with Hange, the gap of years between them suddenly seems so vast. Of course Levi has marked all these differences before - not just how much Jean has physically grown, but the changes in his temperament, the wisdom and thoughtfulness that can only be gained through experience. All of the lessons learned, no matter how painful - some of which Jean often says came from him.

Years he doesn't have.

What sort of shitty lesson did he impart this time?

Levi forces his throat to unstick.

"Jean...-"

The relief in the younger man's voice and on his face is so unexpected he hasn't even processed it--

-- and then Jean crosses all of those years and that scant distance between them--

...there's arms around him.

Levi freezes.

There's a flash of a thought - intrusive, instinctive, ingrained - too close a knife is coming for your back knee to the groin break the hold fight flee free

But he's already let himself be thought, without hardly thinking about it. Because it's Jean, because if he's going to drive a blade into him he fucking deserves it for losing control, because-

...what?

It doesn't make sense.

It doesn't make any fucking sense.

The words catch up to him. The embrace. That look. The sound of his voice.

And whether or not it's deserved, relief crashes into his guilt like rapids over stone.

Levi exhales the breath caught in his chest, soft and shuddering, and slowly wills his stiffened limbs to work, wrapping his arms around Jean in turn, one hand resting carefully at the back of his head.

He closes his eyes against something gathering at their edges, and mutters quietly against his shoulder.

"...I'm sorry."

Jean honestly expects it to be a one-sided hug, if he's honest. He's always been a physical person - Levi is too, if you know how to look for it, but he's more subdued. His affections are a hand on your shoulder, a ruffling of hair, a bump of his side to yours. Gestures he's more used to seeing given out, to people like Hange, Eren, and Armin, but has received himself.

This is the first time he's hugged him, ever. It's unique to them here, at the very least; something Jean needed after everything that happened, after losing Mikasa and Eren, even temporarily. He'd told Dolph he couldn't lose the other two of them, but the truth is: He could live through losing Erwin again. He's not sure what he'd do if he lost Levi.

He's surprised, then, when Levi exhales and doesn't step away; when he brings up his arms to wrap them around him too, a hand at the back of his head. Jean closes his eyes. It reminds him a lot of getting a hug when you come home; no matter how awkward due to changes in heights, it feels familiar.

"You're forgiven," he tells Levi immediately, no trace of reluctance in his tone or body. He'd tell him not to worry about it - but he knows Levi will. "You weren't yourself." Jean also thought he could handle it - he was wrong. He won't get into that just yet.

Edited 2024-06-25 04:20 (UTC)

His physical affections have always been brief, benign, but undeniably there. Maybe it had been all that he could afford, reaching out to people just enough to make a connection without imposing himself. An embrace left you vulnerable, a show of trust that didn't come easily for him at all, and not even with most people. Even with Erwin, they had never been so intimately, physically close until arriving here.

Perhaps, in a way, he's become accustomed to it enough now that the initial, flinching reaction to confinement is easier to redirect now.

Love and guilt and gratitude help, too.

Of course, Jean just doles out forgiveness, even though Levi had no intentions to even ask. His fingers curl a little, in fabric and sand-colored hair, and he huffs a little, a gentle rebuke.

"Doesn't matter," he grumbles lowly. "I hurt you - could've killed you - for nothing. It wasn't real."

If they'd been home Jean would be spending weeks recovering. It's a lucky thing for both of them that he didn't have to suffer long. Maybe there just wasn't time to let the event fester into resentment; although that doesn't mean it never could.

After a few more seconds, Levi loosens his hold, and starts to let his hands fall away. "Don't go hurting your back for me, either. It'll get harder to comfortably take a shit when you're older if you fuck it up now."

Jean squeezes once, just a little tighter, before Levi loosens the hold. Ever respectful of his need for space, as he sees it, he doesn't stop him. he lets his arms fall away and straightens up, giving Levi a small smile; one that grows wider at the joke.

"Don't worry, I won't. I learned my lesson when we slept on the floor for a month." It's one thing when you have no option and have to sleep on the ground in a tent - it's another when three people bed down on a hardwood floor. Thank god for the hot springs, is all Jean is saying about that.

He steps back to wave Levi in, since clearly he came with something in mind - he did spot that parcel, after all.

"You could have done a lot of things you didn't. I also should have let you go - I was still injured and it would have been the smarter decision. I didn't. If you want to play the blame game, then I have some responsibility for it too."

He holds his breath reflexively at the squeeze, giving Jean a couple of awkward pats that are more like taps with his fingers. There's still a little lingering tension even after he's released, a mixture of wary concern and being caught off guard with affection. The smile helps, though.

Levi clicks his tongue in mild disapproval as he follows Jean inside, the small package once again in hand.

"Told you brats not to do that, either. Well - you're still springy at your age, at least."

Although springing back from bad sleeping habits is easier than broken ribs...but at least they did have magic. Maybe that was in part why he'd been able to justify it, even under the thrall; Jean would've been able to get help quickly enough, and certainly someone seems to have patched him up probably not long after he'd left. Levi has to cling to the belief that his aim had only ever been to keep Jean from stopping him...but quietly, he isn't entirely sure that would've been the end of it, if pushed hard enough.

It's rarely made sense to puzzle out blame; so many of the tragedies they'd both lived through had far too many variables to ever fully attribute them all to one person or another, or pinpoint to a single decision.

Levi gazes at him quietly a moment.

"Yeah, you should have listened to my warning. But you didn't believe I would follow through."

Jean makes sure to give Levi a little extra space after the hug, closing the door behind him and trusting Levi to slip off his shoes. He's the one Jean learned that habit from, after all.

Also out of habit, he moves to the kitchen to put on the kettle. There's a moment, bittersweet, when he opens the cabinet and spots the tea the Captain likes nestled to the kind Mikasa preferred too, but he pulls out the tin and sets about starting the tea.

He can feel Levi's gaze on him, but he answers without turning around. Trusting Levi at his back.

"Captain, I trust you mean everything you say. I thought I'd be quick enough if I pissed you off to escape, and lead you to the lake." He shrugs his shoulders, as if it's as simple as that. "I wasn't, and I won't make that mistake again."

In all honesty, he wasn't sure if Levi would stop. He knew he was taking a risk when he reached out to him, even more when he tried to get away. It was stupid, and even riskier with an injured leg.

Levi does have a point, though: one of his considered factors was trusting that Levi wouldn't kill him, even the way he was.

Edited 2024-06-25 17:54 (UTC)

There's a brief moment of hesitation before he steps out of his loafers, toeing them neatly together near the others. Mikasa's slippers are still in place as though she's gone out for the day, and Levi likewise feels that twinge of absence. He should have spent more time with her. But when someone is gone suddenly, however much time you did have together will never seem like enough.

A bit of skepticism shifts into his expression. Not that he doubts Jean trusts him, but there's an obvious contradiction there; Jean didn't correctly calculate the chance that Levi would follow through, didn't, apparently, believe that he would go so far as to kill him if necessary. Usually, Levi prefers that - he'd rather Jean and anyone else close to him not have to be afraid that his monstrous strength would be turned against them.

Maybe it's a mistake here, though, when something could take control of that.

Still, it's a little funny that the younger man believed he could somehow outmaneuver him. Maybe four years on it would be a better possibility.

"Must have gotten slow in my old age," he mutters, padding after him into the kitchen. "You got too close. Keep your distance, next time."

He sets the parcel on the counter, nudging it towards Jean. It's a small box, wrapped in an indigo cloth. Inside is a set of four small tins, each with a small amount of tea - Jean's favorite, Eren's, jasmine, and Darjeeling.

"I will," Jean takes the correction gamely. He did learn his lesson - fighting Levi has never been something he'd really expected to do, but now he's been reminded of the gulf between them. In training was one thing; one on one with no holding back is another.

"The only person who might have been able to beat you in your old age would be Mikasa, so I think you're safe."

Saying her name isn't easy, but Jean does it and keeps moving around, taking out cups and placing them on the counter. He retrieves a carton of milk and a small container of sugar, but doesn't put either into his cup for now. He hears Levi behind him and setting something down, and turns to examine it.

Carefully, he unwraps the cloth - why destroy when one can re-use it - and opens the box. He smiles a little at the collection of tea tins after he unwraps it, looking at Levi. "Is this your ... apologitea?"

[ he's not going to talk about his overwhelming panic at being forgotten now that astarion here. he's going to do something nice, it's going to be good, jean will be happy and dolph will just — deal.

that's the plan. ]

I have something for you.

"...sounds likely." Him on the edge of decline, her coming upon her prime. Levi doesn't know that she'll be able to pin him down in his exhaustion on a roof he hasn't seen yet, hasn't felt the direct force of her strength in a most desperate contest. Even with a couple decades on him, Kenny had still given him a fucking run for his money. He'll never not be lethal, but compared to a younger Ackerman, he'd eventually lose.

"I'm sorry she's gone, too," he offers quietly. There hasn't been time to really think about it until now.

Jean snaps back some of the moroseness of the moment with...that.

Levi gives him a flat stare similar to one usually reserved for Erwin's inanities, but the corner of his mouth betrays him a little, twitching briefly.

"Yeah, something like that. Best I could do on short notice."

Well, now that's a surprise. Do I get to guess?

[ He hasn't checked the new arrivals just yet; doesn't know that one of Dolph's friends has returned. The message is a pleasant surprise, though. ]

"Well, it wasn't necessary, but apologitea accepted," Jean says with a wider smile on his lips. That's a familiar look on Levi, to him - a flat stare betraying some amusement. He's seen it often, directed at himself or Hange, while sitting over plans; training, expansion of the railroad, eventually the invasion of Marley...

He shakes off the memory, a twinge in his chest thinking of Captain Hange, and smiles down at the tea. He lifts the tin of Darjeeling.

"This one today, maybe?"

You can guess if you want. Might be a bit hard though.

One of those pancake robots you were telling me about the other day.

inbox | labyrinthum

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lmk if this is too Necro for you

NEVER I WILL BACKTAG FOREVER

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action; after all the green knight bullshit

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the parcel I immediately forgot about because I knew I would-

what's in the booooox

something entirely predictable-

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( text | un: laserhawk )

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(it's a roomba)