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[neighsaying]

INBOX (UN: OMNIDIRECTIONAL) text / audio / video / action This is Jean. Leave a message, and I'll reach back out when I'm available. [ Previously was thunderspear ] code credit

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[neighsaying]

Oh? I'll be there shortly.

[ Today is 'Valentine's Day', a holiday Jean is wholly unfamiliar with. He knows it's romantic in nature and something you share with your partners. Eren and Mikasa aren't interested - it was just recently Mikasa's birthday anyways - but he did know he should probably do something for Dolph.

'Something' is currently taking the form of having baked a small cheesecake topped with strawberries; he's still figuring out what Dolph does and doesn't like, and this seems like a safe bet. Also, strawberries are romantic, or at least, people he talked to said they were.

So he makes his way to Dolph's treehouse with the container in hand, knocking on the door. He's bundled up for the weather, but he looks cheery when Dolph answers. ]

Hey!

[laserhawk]

[ dolph's wearing a black tank top and slacks. nothing too fancy, though maybe he should have. he quells his fidgeting before he greets jean with a faint smile. ]

Hey.

[ a beat as he notices what jean is carrying. ]

What's that?

[neighsaying]

A cake. Well, no, it's a cheesecake.

[ It's new to him and it was tasty enough to recreate. His grin goes a bit abashed as he holds it out to Dolph. ]

I don't know what traditions there are for today, so I thought it'd be nice. You caught me as I was finishing it up.

[laserhawk]

[ oh. that is sweet. he wasn't expecting anything. he wasn't even sure if jean knew what the date meant. ]

I wouldn't worry about tradition. I'm just impressed you brought something.

[ he presses a light kiss to his cheek. ]

I got something for you too.

[neighsaying]

[ The date was hard to miss with enough talk going around; he knows Dolph wouldn't have begrudged him not knowing, either. It was still nice to make the effort.

The kiss to his cheek has his smile going soft, and he reaches out to grasp Dolph's hand in his own as he steps inside. ]

You mentioned that. I'm curious about what it could be.

[laserhawk]

[ dolph draws him into the living room where he's set up the cd player. he plucks a cd from the stack and puts it in. soon, music starts to play and fill the room. ]

You said you like music. So I thought you might be interested in this.

It's yours.

[neighsaying]

[ The CD and the player both get a curious look from him. ]

Is that a record player --

[ The CD looks like a small, metallic version of the records he saw in Marley. Then Dolph puts on the music, and when it starts, Jean looks surprised. His fingers tighten just a little bit where they're holding onto Dolph's hand. ]

Oh - oh wow.

[laserhawk]

[ he beams a little, deeply relieved by that reaction. it seemed he picked well. ]

This is how we listen to music in Eden.

[ that and cassettes but he figured this would be better. ]

[neighsaying]

This is amazing.

[ He looks genuinely stunned! Hearing an orchestra without being seated in front of one - the records in Marley were impressive enough. This is even smaller and seems far more portable. ]

Thank you, I - have no idea what to say.

[ Abashed, he turns and presses a kiss to Dolph's cheek. ]

[laserhawk]

[ he smiles at that. this was more than he hoped for. ]

I'm just glad you like it. I've never really given gifts before.

[neighsaying]

That makes two of us.

[ At least, gifts that were purely for recreation. Jean had received plenty of things that were functional over the years, but even his own indulgences were small - art supplies, cologne, things like that.

It means a lot that Dolph thought of him and got him something like this. ]

I think you're doing a great job, though.

[laserhawk]

[ a little uncertain. ]

You truly think so?

[ a great job. him? ]

[neighsaying]

I do. I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it.

[ He reaches up to cup Dolph's face in his hands, giving him another small smile. ]

[laserhawk]

[ he wonders about that. alex had . . . said so many things. had he meant them? was it all a lie?

he's still afraid. he still thinks if he blinks, it'll just go away. ]

Do you always say what you mean?

after getting my face pushed in by an ice twink --

[neighsaying]

I do. When I was younger, I was an asshole for - well, a lot of reasons, but I always spoke what was on my mind. For better or worse.

[ He gives Dolph a reassuring look. ]

I'm a little more diplomatic these days, but I don't like lying.

[laserhawk]

[ dolph relaxes a little. ]

Everyone I knew tried to hurt me. Betray me. It's . . . hard for me to trust anyone.

[neighsaying]

[ It's good to know his read on Dolph wasn't off. ]

You're trying, though. And, hey, I'm not going to get mad if you can't trust me right now. People need time for all different kinds of reasons.

[ He shifts his hands up a bit so that he can brush them through Dolph's hair. ]

[laserhawk]

It's not that I don't want to. I just — [ dolph struggles to get the words out before he gives up, frustrated with himself. ] — I just wonder if it's enough.

[neighsaying]

If it's enough?

[ He repeats Dolph's last words because he doesn't quite understand what he means by them. If trusting someone is not enough? Or if trying to trust them isn't enough. ]

[laserhawk]

[ that may have been too much. he doesn't need to ask if he's enough. he knows he's not. not for alex, not for anyone else. he shakes his head. ]

Nevermind.

Like you said, I'm . . . working on it.

[neighsaying]

[ Jean genuinely doesn't know what Dolph was asking, which is what results in Jean curling his fingers through some hair and tugging on it. ]

Hey - what did you mean? I want to know. So I can help.

[laserhawk]

I just . . . wondered if I was enough.

With all the shit in my life, it just doesn't seem worth it.

[ bitterly. ]

I'm not much of a person.

[neighsaying]

[ Oh, Dolph. It's a little clearer now, and Jean lets go of that hair to cup his face again. ]

I'm not going to try to tell you if you're a person or not. I can tell you that you're enough. You care about whether you are, if you're doing right by people - every monster I've ever met didn't care about that.

Maybe you used to think that, in the past ... like I used to. You don't anymore.

[laserhawk]

[ he's not a monster. he never thought that, though he does hold regrets over the actions of his past. dolph knows he can't be held accountable. he was a weapon. he was property. he was owned.

it helps though, to hear he's enough. maybe he doesn't need to worry. maybe he can just be.

maybe it'll be enough to banish alex's words from his head. I do love you but . . .

instead he leans against jean's touch, pressing their foreheads together. ]

I do like you. Very much.

[neighsaying]

I like you a lot too.

[ Jean rubs his thumbs against Dolph's cheeks. ]

You're enough for me, I promise.