neighsaying | inbox | labyrinthum

[ Jeans fingers tighten a little where they hold Eren's. He wants to sit up, turn around, and take Eren into his arms properly.

He doesn't for a second want Eren to think he's pulling away though, either.

So he stays in place. He finds Eren's other hand with his own free one and twines their fingers together there, too. ]

Maruki once told me you can't quantify hurt in terms of who's is worse.

[ His tone is soft, raw. ]

We asked you for the impossible, and ignored when you told us you couldn't do it. That wasn't fair to you.

If it's selfish, then let's be selfish.

I'm sorry, Eren.

[ He didn't mean to, but he makes no excuses. Instead, he kisses Eren's knuckles. ]

I know who you are, now. I love you.

['We asked you for the impossible, and ignored when you told us you couldn't do it. That wasn't fair to you.'

[For a moment, Eren can't tell if Jean is talking about their time in Somnius or their time back home. That moment last and lasts. His hands squeeze Jean's, then release - squeeze, release.

['I know who you are now.' Does he?

['I love you.' He does.

[It's an apology Eren never expected to receive. It's an apology he never would have asked for. It's a hurt that he's carried for what feels like years, what made him feel more alone than anything. He remembers feeling like he hated Jean and Mikasa at times.

[That was never true.

[He's quiet for too long. There's a lump in his throat. Jean has spent hours holding Eren as he cries. He doesn't want to cry now...

[But it's hard to speak. His lips stick together.]

I love you. Sometimes I love you so much it feels like I'm dying.

[His head spins. It feels impossible to forgive, because it feels impossible that he can be forgiven.]

We know each other now. I don't want to be apart anymore.

[ In some way, he's apologizing for both. The people he needs the apologies for from home, though, likely won't give them to Eren.

Jean waits out Eren's silence, feeling those hands squeeze and release. It feels agonizing, like being suspended in midair with no hooks - a terrifying freefall that you'll either stop or die in.

Eren would have every right to get angry, to rage.

But he doesn't.

Jean hears the wet noise of his lips when he tries to speak, long before he manages. He doesn't let Eren's hands go, but he does finally shift so that he can half turn and look at Eren. ]

I'm not going to leave. We'll be together as long as we can.

[ He doesn't promise forever, because he knows one day one of them will leave. Either by chance, or choice.

He thinks of Dolph, who asked him to remember how the love felt. He once promised Eren his bones would remember him. So: ]

And, even if we don't have our names anymore, we'll remember how we felt for each other.

[Eren has to slow his breathing. He's good at it now. He wasn't always.

[But it's hard to look at Jean. It's been hard to look at Jean. He doesn't want it to be hard. He's fifteen again. He just wants Jean to be his friend.

[He's more. He's one of Eren's people.]

My bones will remember...

[He whispers it, a hand coming up to touch Jean's chin.]

You're right. I'll never forget.

[ Jean squeezes the hand that's still holding onto one of Eren's when he says his bones will remember. Oh, he knows Eren's memory isn't the best, so he's glad that still resonates.

He leans into the touch on his chin, letting his eyes fall closed. ]

Thank you. For telling me the truth. For trusting me with it.

I want to give you everything I can. [It's an anxious promise. It's the truth.]

I love you. I want to keep doing this. [Time together - simple as that.] For as long as we can...

Then let's do just that.

[ Jean exhales softly. ]

I'm happy just being with you. The where or the how isn't important. That's all I ever wanted.

[ It's all Mikasa wanted, too. The world was too cruel to give her that. ]

I know.

[Eren takes Jean's face in his hands. He tilts it down, presses a warm kisses right to the center of his forehead.]

I'm here.

[ At some point during the week, Jean receives an invitation:

I'll be hosting a dinner party on March 22 and would love to see you there!

Feel free to come to the Horizons farmhouse any time after 5 PM.

Please do not bring anything! No food, no drinks, nothing but your presence. I appreciate the thought, but for me, the joy of this is being able to cook for a group of people, and I would like to handle it myself.

Hope to see you there!

Dr. Maruki

One gets the impression that if you go against his wishes to bring something anyway, it might stress him out...

When the mingle log goes up on the 22nd, please feel free to come tag around! ]

[Connie doesn't message Jean beforehand, even if he probably should have. He's just going to haul his ass over to the farm, hoping to catch him there. If he doesn't find him, he can just hang out with Eren or something while he waits.

Eventyally though, he does eventually catch Jean at the farm.]

Heya. Happy birthday.

[ Jean seems almost surprised when Connie says it - not because it's Connie, but because it's another birthday in Labyrinthum. Now he's twenty-one, not nineteen. ]

And where's my present?

[ Jean doesn't actually expect Connie to have gotten him anything, but he still sasses him a little bit, cocking his hip out and putting his hands on his hips like he's waiting expectantly. ]

Well, since you asked so kindly.

[Connie leans closer, needing to tiptoe just a little bit. And if Jean doesn't seem to object he get a smooch from Connie. Just a quick one, unless Jean makes it longer.]

Edited 2025-05-07 19:32 (UTC)

[ The kiss is - a surprise as much as it isn't, actually. When Connie tries to pull back, it's Jean who catches his arm and keeps him close, making the kiss longer.

It's different, than any fumbling they might have done together when they were younger. It's affectionate, and easy, which none of his other kisses have really managed. ]

Connie is relieved everything is over (despite new problems popping up, it feels like), but once he's alone with Jean he seems to just crash and lean his head on Jean's back. Trying not to cry too much, but failing.

"... you can probably guess how I got alerted to the situation."

He doesn't need to say it, does he? That he also saw someone.

[Connie has no objections to continue the kiss, even smiling a bit as they do. It's definitely different now, but in all good ways.

He puts an arm around Jean's waist for comfort, since they're close anyway.]

Jean also saw someone, but his feelings are complicated about them - Floch was never much of a friend to the rest of them, it feels like. When Connie speaks, though, Jean's shoulders stiffen and then slump.

"It was her, wasn't it?" he asks, his voice soft. There's plenty of people they know that have died, so many that at some times it feels indistinct - but there's one still very recent, very raw loss for the both of them.

For a moment, all Jean will hear is Connie's breathing and quiet sobs. Then Connie finally takes a deeper breathe.

"Yeah", he says. "I... was so glad to see her again. But then she started being weird and..."

Connie's mostly glad he was too preoccupied with the situation to text Jean about it. Because at least one of them was spared from being attacked by a feral Sasha.

Then he just rushed to Reiner, once the situation with Sasha was over. He hasn't had time to sort his feelings or anything.

Jean reaches up to cover Connie's arms with his own, where they're wrapped around him.

"I'm sorry," he says. "I should have been there."

Fuck that he was dealing with his own problems, and then Connie finding out some copy of Bertholdt was with Reiner. He still should have been there for his best friend when things went sour.

Jean's arms feel nice. They're bigger than Connie's and cover nicely. It's comforting, which is definitely what he needs right now.

"No. I'm glad you weren't", Connie says with a small sigh. "I wouldn't have wanted you to see her like that."

Feral, but not about food. Angry, her face turning quite ugly to more in rage she was. At least he got help to deal with the situation, rather than needing to deal with it solo.

"... I ended up insulting potatoes and her cooking skills to drive her off."

"Oh, definitely a fake. If you insulted her in reality, she'd actually tear your face off," Jean says, trying to inject some form of levity about Sasha. Still, it couldn't have been easy for his friend to face a vengeful version of their best friend. He shifts a bit so he can get his arms properly around Connie.

"I miss her," he tells Connie quietly. He doesn't say, I wish she'd show up here, because in some ways that's true, but in other ways, it would feel cruel to her to tell her what happened.

A proper hug is even better than what they had just now. Connie sighs, feeling comfortable in Jean's arms. The reassurance of 'doppelganger being definitely fake' also helps. It doesn't erase the pain, but it at least makes him even more confident that what he did was right.

"I miss her too", he says. It may be obvious, for both of them, but sometimes it felt good to say out loud. Connie did wish she would show up, but maybe not right now. Later, when this whole debacle has been forgotten.

"... can I stay with you tonight? I don't really want to be alone."

"Of course," Jean immediately affirms. Normally, he'd joke about how he won out over Reiner, but there's a reason neither of them maybe want to stay with Reiner right now. A Bertholdt shaped lie the both of them are complicit in now.

"I think I've still got some Connie sized sleep clothes around here," he teases gently.

It was weird to have Reiner be the elephant in the room. But Connie wouldn't mention him unless Jean would. They would talk later, when they were both feeling at least an inch better. Connie did wonder how long it would take him to actually say he was alright.

At the small tease though, Connie does snort. "What if I want to drown in your freaking large shirts though."

Hey, Jean. Are you busy?

Not particularly. What's up?

inbox | labyrinthum

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watch us wrap soon "let them cuddle" NO! DEVOTION CONFESSIONS!

hehehehe

Re: hehehehe

we can wrap if you want UGH

invitation - no need to respond!

birthday

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sometime after Reiner and Doppelbert situation

the difference between these two inbox threads is hilarious

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text; un: armored

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